Saintperle

2/20/16

WHAT DO WE GET RIGHT AWAY WHEN **%%$*&^% BECOMES PRESIDENT?


It's definitely a crapshoot now, so to cover all bases, I asked my guardian angel to give me my Election Year Cassandra epiphany to allow for any possibility.
Here's what she showed me happening on January 20th, 2017, at the inauguration:



DONALD TRUMP -- WAR against ISIS. 
He announces he will be planting Narcissus on all edges around the Reflecting Pool to celebrate his "Age of Self Reflection." (Spp: Large Cup Daffodil), and pulls out his penis and waggles it at the crowd.
When people boo and laugh and point, he looks down and shouts "It's much bigger than that! It's  cold out here! Really. It's the way the founding losers set this whole thing up to embarrass the winner -- If we did this in August you'd see, it's huge."  (John Heilemann, announcing for Bloomberg TV points out the propriety of Trump's floral choice to symbolize his administration, the name of the plant -- narcissus -- being the Greek word for "numbness.")

TED CRUZ -- WAR against the people he calls "Ragheads." When the crowd gasps, he says  " I use that terms out of respect to acknowledge their cultural traditions."
And he announces he will populate his entire administration with the religious theocrats known as Dominionists, headed by his own father as "Secretary of Everything."

MARCO RUBIO -- WAR against "all those bad people." And announces that the hallmark of his administration will be longer recesses and strictly enforced laws against pushing, shoving, hair-pulling, name-calling or lying in the schoolyard or the playground. And that HIS theocracy will be better and "more religious and everything" than anything liar liar Cruz might have come up with. (When a journalists asks is that fair to refer to Ted Cruz in that way, Rubio asks him: "Why? Are YOU the president? No."

HILLARY CLINTON -- WAR to show she's really ready to be Commander in Chief and "smash that glass ceiling with some Stinger missiles." She announces her administration will work ceaselessly to find ways to control financial industry excesses by "at least 10%."

JOHN KASICH -- never gets to the podium. The Republican National Committee has him taken into custody and put into the "George Bernard Shaw Asylum for the Sane" as a danger to the nation, since his refusal to threaten war "emboldens our enemies to a critical degree." Bob Beckel, announcing for Al Jazeera America which hired him after Fox news dumped him for "being too liberal," said it was just as well, since Kasich's insistence on peaceful means had so emboldened Vladimir Putin, he had it on good authority that Putin was planning a missile attack on Washington D.C. as soon as Kasich got to the White House. (Al Jazeera announced immediately that Beckel had resigned to spend more time with his family or to pursue other opportunities, they didn;t know which.)

BERNIE SANDERS -- two men wearing full formal Rich Uncle attire -- morning coat tails, striped trousers, white tie, spats, tall silk top hats -- shoot him as members of the Bernie Madoff Liberation Army. "FREE WALL STREET" they shout as he falls from behind the podium.

JEB BUSH, DR. BEN CARSON -- are you kidding?
In what fantasy do either of them win an election?

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