The only pre-election poll you can trust directs us to James Wolcott who tells us that the results of the upcoming election will be Kerry 55, Bush 45. How does he know?

He checked the Nickelodeon poll as described in many media outlets and blogs from CNN to USC's student newpaper, The Daily Trojan to the (presumably neutral) Swissinfo to South Africa's Star to the Righty-Uptighty Liberty Post and came out with this conclusion:

... what I did was take the Nickolodeon Poll for kids, which has correctly predicted the last four elections, and work from there.

The bright youngsters who took part in this poll, 400,000 strong, voted Kerry 57, Bush 43.

Since kids are naturally exuberant, until it's beaten out of them by the System, I shaved off two points from Kerry, gave those two to Bush.

Kerry 55, Bush 45, that's my lighter than air prediction.

Regardless, since it would be kind of nice to have an actual democratic republic for a change, we can only hope that all the would-be voters actually get to vote and that all the votes are actually tallied, and that Josef Stalin's supposed retort to the rather undiplomatic American taunt ("In America, people can vote for whoever [sic] they want.") is not accurate THIS time around ("It's not important who they vote for -- it's only important who counts those votes.")


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