Ahhh, the beauty of it, behold the art of the conspiracy theory

God, I love it --

This is no foam-flecked raving rant, but an intellectual artifact -- look at it carefully and admire the grace, the careful construction, the elegance, the economy of motion as the web-connections. are spun. Dance with its music.

Compare it against the cheap shoddily-woven outlet-store lie-fabrics purveyed by such prevaricators as Condoleeza "Do not impugn my ingerity" Rice. Lying crap where the seams show and pull apart, mental fabrications where the cloth lasts only long enough for her to make good her escape with the Nova Mob.

Compare her second-rate academic insistences with this, which I was sent only moments ago -- like a delicate and complex astrolabe made of golden filigree, enamelled points here and there highlighting the rose-cut diamonds of j'accuse.

There's no denying it any more. No one wanted to accept Wm Burrough's vision, but certainly, since the great WMD scam, no one can deny that Conspiracy Theory ranks along with Jazz and Sociopathic revenge movies as another True American Art Form.

Fuck oil painting -- our dear Dr. C Sarian dazzles in a way that only a merging between Frank Frazetta and Jackson Pollock produced and directed by Alexander Jodorowsky could match.

Read and enjoy, take delight that we do NOT have to settle for the tattered, cum-stained locker-room towel-snapping homoerotic thug ravings of Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld -- we have Dr. C Sarian, the artist of the age.

Marcel Duchamp would tip his hat to this man.

Tsunami Warnings!

These tsunamis are a funny thing. They occur at a time when there is a crescendo of outcry against fascist assaults on basic human rights, providing a compelling distraction for liberals from efforts to restore due process. The epicenter of destruction was Aceh, hotbed of evolutionary resistance against Indonesia, most populous Muslim nation, one of the world's most repressive totalitarian regimes, and naturally a favored US trading partner and military ally. Do Aceh's natural gas fields have anything to do with it? Billions will be needed to rebuild
low lying coastal communities. What for? The Red Cross has requested donors not give clothing or food. They want money. Not to fund an international transport system of relief supplies to hard hit areas, but to purchase needed supplies locally. That, they say, will help victims and boost local economies.

But wait a second. Does that mean the supplies desperately needed by starving survivors are available locally, but won't be released by their owners until an infusion of American (Japanese, Spanish etc.) cash? Sandra Bullock donated $1M for relief efforts. Who gets that money anyway? Local speculators in rice and dried milk? Huge corporations that had the foresight (and wherewithal) to corner the market on essential commodities? While soft headed Hollywood actresses assuage their conscience with therapeutic check signing, Indonesian troops kick survivors away from emergency supplies, shoot relief workers and check boxes of hamburger helper for hidden arms caches. US installations in the Indian Ocean received tsunami warnings and took steps to prevent loss of life. The warnings were not passed to coastal areas of poor countries of the South Asian littoral in order not to disrupt the
tourist trade. Over 150,000 people died. So what? That is equivalent to the population of any one of hundreds of smaller Asian cities in a dozen countries. Vacationing suburbanites peered in wonder at the exposed seabed only to be engulfed by rapidly rising water, but matrist
aboriginies on Andaman read the signs, gained higher ground and were still determined, though naked as jaybirds, to loose a defiant arrow at inspecting officials in a helicopter. Their lives are the same, before, and after tsunamis came.

Run silent, run deep

Over the past four decades the US military has built a number of nuclear powered strategic force submarines that are capable of launching an array of weapons that may be armed with nuclear warheads. Including torpedoes. A nuclear detonation is powerful enough to disturb the surface of the Earth. Fault lines build up terrific potential from the pressure of tectonic plates colliding. The mission of these "boomers", as they are affectionately known by the beings who risk their lives and health to operate them, is to hide deep in the darkest depths of the oceans where they may remain undetected, because their awesome destructive power is intended as a deterrent against others who might decide to utilize their own boomers. Paradoxically, unlike most weapons systems, their use is in their not being used. Their very existance is supposed to be so terrifying that they will never have to be used. Nevertheless they are funded, constructed, manned, armed and deployed. They are out there, somewhere. Waiting.

Natural? or National?

It must be frustrating to sit at the bottom of the sea doing what you are supposed to do by NOT doing what you are supposed to do. Almost as frustrating as it must be for their commanders back stateside in plush offices decorated with images of the fire, fury and destruction of historic surface naval battles cunningly painted by skilled forgers and
framed in guilt. Disasters are the toeholds that gain authority for the masters; no one wants that big red fire truck blocking the street if there is no fire. So they make sure there is fire. And, surprize, surprize, every time fire burns, there is the military industrial complex with a big bag of marshmallows. Industry and government made a lot of hay pursuant to the Pearl Harbor attack. Industry and government made a lot of hay pursuant to the Gulf of Tonkin attack. Industry and government made a lot of hay pursuant to the Trade Tower attack. Now it would appear that industry and government are poised to make a lot of hay pursuant to the tsunami. How difficult would it be for a boomer to fire a nuclear armed torpedo at a submarine geologic fault line? All someone on board would have to do is plug in coordinates and push the button. The point is, the technology exists and all the world has to believe that couldn't have happened is the supposition that it wouldn't have happened.

That's good enough for me! Where do I sign?

Reverend Doktor C. Sarian

Mid Coast Sub Church of Paranoia
Church of the SubGenius


eXTReMe Tracker