Hunters Can Take Up to 325,000 Seal Pups

March 16,2006 | TORONTO -- Canada's contentious seal hunt will soon start, the government announced Wednesday, despite protests by Paul McCartney and other animal-rights activists who condemn the killing of the pups as inhumane.

Fisheries and Oceans Minister Loyola Hearn charged that the media have misrepresented the hunt, and said Canada is committed to ensuring the seals are killed by humane methods.

"Canada's harp seal herd is a conservation success story," Hearn said in Ottawa. "We continue our surveillance and monitoring to make sure that Canada's is the most tightly regulated, closely watched and, above all, most humane seal hunt in the world."

What does that mean, "most humane?"

That a prize goes to the guy who can crush a baby seal's skull in only one smash?

(The white fur goes to making --- guess what -- souvenir toy seal pup dolls. The meat is either left out on the ice or goes to make sausage.. .and the little guys' willies? They're used as Chinese Medicine -- either served in upscale restaurants or ground up and sold to dirty old men in Japan and Germany so they can get it up and go to Thailand, Burma, etc in Southeast Asia and have sex with children, 10 years old and up a little bit (to bone a virgin is to regain virility, but first you have to get at least one bone.)

So isn't that sweet -- beat baby seals to day so you can rape baby Asians. Watta business, eh?

Oh but wait... here's some more spin....

"Aboriginal and Inuit hunters begin the commercial kill in November in Canada's frozen Arctic waters. The spring leg is slated to begin in the Gulf of St. Lawrence next week and move later to an arc about 30 to 40 miles from Newfoundland."

But hey, if they're natives, it's ok ... mostly native Norwegians who represent the processing companies, native Maritime Provinces Euro-descendants (Irish, English, French)... if there's one Micmac in a thousand, it would be a big surprise.

But wottehell, it's the most humane mass slaughter of wild animals in the world, so that's cool, right?


So a baby Harp seal crawls into a bar and the bartender says:

"What'll you have?"

And the Baby Harp Seal says:

"Anything but a Canadian Club."


They love to talk about how dangerous it is out there on the ice floes, as if clubbing little helpless things to pulp is a MANLY pursuit. I don't see why some other MANLY types couldn't go out there with M-16's and show 'em what it's like on the other end of the spectrum.



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