Poor Christians, so abused, so helpless...

I read a letter to the San Francisco Chronicle this morning, vehemently protesting Mark Morford's outrageously funny recounting of a non-visit to a Xtian mega-church rally. The writer begins so pleasantly, inviting open and civil discussion:

I cannot, in good conscience, ignore the malicious, hateful, anti-Christian column written by Mark Morford ("Huge crowds, rabid devotees and no Mick Jagger in sight. Are you afraid?" Aug. 3) without responding. This article would not have been published had it been about Muslims, Buddhists or people of different sexual orientation..."

First of all, lady, we don't read MarkMorford for the respectful (or craven) go-along attitude you apparently seek. We read his column .. well.. you told it perfectly:

Let's look at just some of the vocabulary used to describe churches and Christians attending these larger churches: "creepy"; "eye-glazed weirdly repressed"; "God-fearin' biz", "arena-scaled piety polished up and bloated out and aimed like a giant homophobic cannon"; "gloomy"; "tacky"; "hateful radio brain-washin' "; "malicious teenage abstinence seminars"; "surreal spectacles"; "all-paunchy-married-man revue"; "bizarre pious cheerleading"; "mutant species"; "snarlingly pious"; "violently militant"; "frothy"; "terrify"; "mad throngs of confused"; "contaminate"; "soul into rancid cheese"; "codify homophobia"; "right-wing misogynist"; "frightening and viral upsurge"; "coagulating like a tumor to the right"; "anxious, quivering reaction"; "delirious throngs of blind believers" -- and I'm only quoting parts of his disgusting column.

We read his column for all the items you mentioned and more -- because of his fabulous style: "snarlingly pious!" "bizarre pious cheerleading!" Wow.

GADDAMN, lady, the man can fling them words around like diamond-studded Shuriken Stars.

And oh, as to "had it been about Muslims, Buddhists, or people of different sexual orientation," how many times have you heard a pugnacious 'love it or leave it' thugs yelling:

"This is a Buddhist country, so if you don't like it..."

or, better:

"This is a Gay country, founded by Gay men to insure freedom of sexual orientation. So if you can't take it up the ass..."

But we do hear your comrades-in-faith yammering all the time (and incorrectly) that "This is a Christian Country founded by Christian men..." with the implication (or outright statement) that Jews or Muslims or Buddhists or anyone in violation of the Christian posturings of the most fundamental, literal humorless types, i.e., gay men and women, pornographers, etc., had best get with the program or get lost.

And oh, by the way -- the Founding Fathers were DEISTS, not Christians, and one of them, Thomas Jefferson, the darling of the States' Rights set wrote, for his tombstone, not that he was President, but that he had written the Virginia Law separating Church and State -- keeping clergy out of the government and keeping the politicians out of the church.

SO, as to attacks on Christians -- oh boo-fucking-hoo. Might I respectfully suggest you blow it out your ass?

Thank you and God Bless America.