Ahh, there is one thing in which the Arabs are superior to the English-speaking people . ---

INSULTS!

All that "You verminous son of a syphillitic camel..." and such...

But here's out chance to balance the playing field and close the Insult Gap ---

THE SHAKESPEARIAN INSULT KIT

(I can't remember from whom this came, or I'd give appropriate credit -- most likely some execrable Mensa-ite, but wottehell, Archie -- even a stopped clock (or an insuffreably self-serving and pompous one) may be right twice a day. So whether it's Bush or Rove or Reid or Cheney or Pelosi or Di-Di, here's an opportunity to do better than just "asshole," or "fuckwad" (not that those are incorrect, just overused).

Here's how to use it

Combine one word from each of the three columns below, and preface it

with the word "Thou":

Column 1 Columm 2 Column 3

artless | base-court | apple-john |

bawdy | bat-fowling | baggage |

beslubbering | beef-witted | barnacle |

bootless | beetle-headed | bladder |

churlish | boil-brained | boar-pig |

cockered | clapper-clawed | bugbear |

clouted | clay-brained | bum-bailey |

craven | common-kissing | canker-blossom |

currish | crook-pated | clack-dish |

dankish | dismal-dreaming | clotpole |

dissembling | dizzy-eyed | coxcomb |

droning | doghearted | codpiece |

errant | dread-bolted | death-token |

fawning | earth-vexing | dewberry |

fobbing | elf-skinned | flap-dragon |

froward | fat-kidneyed | flax-wench |

frothy | fen-sucked | flirt-gill |

gleeking | flap-mouthed | foot-licker |

goatish | fly-bitten | fustilarian |

gorbellied | folly-fallen | giglet |

impertinent | fool-born | gudgeon |

infectious | full-gorged | haggard |

jarring | guts-griping | harpy |

loggerheaded | half-faced | hedge-pig |

lumpish | hasty-witted | horn-beast |

mammering | hedge-born | hugger-mugger |

mangled | hell-hated | joithead |

mewling | idle-headed | lewdster |

paunchy | ill-breeding | lout |

pribbling | ill-nurtured | maggot-pie |

puking knotty-pated | malt-worm |

puny | milk-livered | mammet |

qualling | motley-minded | measle |

rank | onion-eyed | minnow |

reeky | plume-plucked | miscreant |

roguish | pottle-deep | moldwarp |

ruttish | pox-marked | mumble-news |

saucy | reeling-ripe | nut-hook |

spleeny | rough-hewn | pigeon-egg |

spongy | rude-growing | pignut |

surly | rump-fed | puttock |

tottering | shard-borne | pumpion |

unmuzzled | sheep-biting | ratsbane |

vain | spur-galled | scut |

venomed | swag-bellied | skainsmate |

villainous | tardy-gaited | strumpet |

warped | tickle-brained varlet |

wayward | toad-spotted | vassal |

weedy | unchin-snouted | whey-face |

yeasty | weather-bitten | wagtail |