And another -- I dunno -- all I could do was buy a copy of the Collected Superman Bizzarro World episodes

"WTF" of the day: Abstinence thong

From Broadsheet

What's that old saying -- fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity? Well, how about ass wagging for virginity?

Imagine this: In the heat of a truly epic make-out session, you peel off clothes until you're down to a thong. But how to make sure that special someone understands the panties aren't coming off until your wedding night? If this is your dilemma, an abstinence thong bearing the slogan "Earn your right to wear white" may be just the answer to your prayers (so to speak).

As head-scratchingly delightful as this product is, its ad copy may be even more fantastic. Take it away, Daily Christian: "Panty-minimalists love our casual thong that covers sweet spots without covering your assets; putting an end to panty-lines. This under-goodie is 'outta sight' in low-rise pants. Toss these message panties onstage at your favorite rock star or share a surprise message with someone special ... later."
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And here's the original:

From the Designer “Earn your right to wear white. Abstain from sex before marriage.” Product Details Fit: Form Fitting Body-hugging close contoured fit. Panty-minimalists love our casual thong that covers sweet spots without covering your assets; putting an end to panty-lines. This under-goodie is "outta sight" in low-rise pants. Toss these message panties onstage at your favorite rock star or share a surprise message with someone special ... later. 5.8 oz. 100% Ultra-fine combed ring spun 1x1 baby rib cotton Size up for a looser fit Super soft high end woven elastic trim Made in the U.S.A. BUT WAIT -- there's also the "I LOVE JESUS CLASSIC THONG" and the "JESUS FREAK THONG" I Love Jesus Classic Thong $15.99 Jesus Freak Thong $9.99