Nasty French Anti-American Slander Disproven

Ahhh, those Frenchies -- they say that the American GI's came in waving chocolate bars after the Liberation in 1945, using those dark brown nutritious taste delights for purposes of coercing down and dirty diddling and canoodling from the local dollies. And that much of the the Gallic antipathy towards us dates to that time.

("We fucked their mothers for chocolate bars," said Lenny Bruce,
"and that's why they hate us.")

A canard! And at last it can be erased from the pages of history.
(Or, in the words of Antonin Scalia, "Quack, quack.")

As Scientific American tells us (and hey, that's Scientific AMERICAN, not Scientific Euro-Trash) the ladies were merely showing their appreciation for the soldiers' desire to help improve their cardiovascular health.

Read on for proof:

Chocolate Compounds Boost Blood Vessel Function
Scientific American, June 1, 2004

...According to a report published in the June issue of the Journal of the American College of Nutrition, small daily doses of dark chocolate are associated with improved blood vessel function in healthy people.

...University of California at San Francisco ... randomized study in which some subjects received dark chocolate rich in compounds known as flavonoids while others ate placebo chocolate with a low flavonoid content...
After two weeks, the arteries of the flavonoid-rich chocolate eaters dilated by about 13 percent more than they had at the beginning of the study period.

... "Better blood flow is good for your heart."
Because standard processing methods can destroy flavonoids, not all chocolate is created equal when it comes to potentially beneficial effects.

None of that Euro-weird Swiss chocolate. Nossir. We brought heart-healthy American chocolate to a nation of cheese and cream sauce-eating people threatened by the dangers of high-cholesterol. And the thanks we got often took place in doorways in alleys. Can't help it if some French people appreciate us, can we?