Eulogy for Ken Lay

July 05,2006 | HOUSTON -- Kenneth Lay, founder and vilified former chairman of scandal-ridden Enron Corp., died of a heart attack Wednesday morning. He was 64.

Nicknamed "Kenny Boy" by President Bush, Lay led Enron's meteoric rise from a staid natural gas pipeline company formed by a 1985 merger to an energy and trading conglomerate that reached No. 7 on the Fortune 500 in 2000 and claimed $101 billion in annual revenues.

He was convicted May 25 along with former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling of defrauding investors and employees by repeatedly lying about Enron's financial strength in the months before the company plummeted into bankruptcy protection in December 2001. Lay was also convicted in a separate non-jury trial of bank fraud and making false statements to banks, charges related to his personal finances. He was scheduled to be sentenced Sept. 11.

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Oh what a crying shame -- Hey Kenny Boy -- don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way into Hell.

Just to be safe, can we have the mortuary drive a stake through his verminous heart to make sure he doesn't come up again?

He won't be forgotten -- every time we California residents pay our outrageously high PG&E bills, every month of the year, we will curse his name as a sociopathic self-serving thief who ripped off everyone who ever trusted him.

And perhaps Texas (or wherever his remains are interred) will pass a law allowing every former Enron employee whose pension was stolen by that scumbag to choose between spitting on or pissing on his grave.