Let's look at what the prez candidates -- Repub and Dem -- have in common, i.e., what unites us instead of separates us

Hmmm, well, for starters, on the Dem side, there's Clinton and Obama and Kucinich and Richardson..

On the other side of the aisle, we have John (I was Tortured) McCain and Tom (No-spics Allowed) Tancredo and Funky Duncan Hunter and Sam (No Evolution Allowed) Brownback and Ron (I may be a little crazy, but I'm the only honest one) Paul...

and what ALL of them have in common is that NONE OF THEM are doing the job they were elected to do, whether representing their state (Senators, Governor) or their constituency (Representatives).


So Fuck 'em. We KNOW they don't live up to their promises.

What we have left -- so far -- John Edwards, Mike Gravel, Rudy Giuliani, Mit Romney, Tommy Thompson, Fred (Mr. Let's You and Him Fight and I'll come in later) Thompson, and .. have I missed anyone? Well probably. Oh yeah, Al Gore

Have I missed anyone important? Not bloody likely.

So we have the people WHO HAVE ALREADY BETRAYED THEIR TRUST to run around taking bribes ... uh, campaign contributions ...

And we have, hmm, let's see --

Fred Thompson whose primary attraction is that he's not one of the guys running and the we've really only seen him in makeup with good lighting saying words written for him by Dick Wolf's script writers.

Tommy Thompson -- the man who gave us the Medicare Drug Program where the biggest purchaser of drugs in the world (The U.S. Government) is prohibited by law from doing what every other bulk purchaser does -- negotiating a better price. No, to be fair, make the retirees pay extra. Fuck him and do NOT LET THE SUN SET ON HIM in retirement communities like Rossmoor and Golden Agers. Grey Panther alert.

Mit Romney -- hmm, I'm against women's choice ... no, no, no, I'm for it and I'll never do anything to interfere with a woman's right to choose her own reproductive situation ... no, no, no I'm against it and I've always been against it... and oh yeah, I like the Book of Mormon and L. Ron Hubbard's science fiction -- he's cute -- anyway the wind blows. He hates the idea of community social services supporting the less capable and less fortunate, but he's a Mormon and the wonderfully social-conscious Mormon community does exactly that, in there quasi-government in Utah. A hypocrite and a shifty slimy zombie Ken Doll sonofabitch.

Rudy Giuliani
-- oh yeah, he stood up like a hero after he was integrally responsible for the deaths of many many FDNY people because he'd been too cheap to get them better walkie talkies. Added to the devastation of 9-11 by refusing to understand, after the FIRST WTC bombing, that the World Trade Center was NOT a great place to put an emergency services center. Stood up after 9-11 for the cameras while GW Bush huddled terrified in a corner until it was safe to come out. Has had three wives (one of them his cousin) openly and publicly an adulterer, if in favor of Gay Marriage and Women's Choice (for reproduction) has NOTHING going for him (as a Republican) except the pretense of being tough on terrorism. The only question is "why in hell did he change his party from Democrat to Republican? What he is is a right wing authoritarian Democrat. Oh, and yeah, his regime in New York was best characterized by the feral police who, when doing things like raping Abner Louima with a toilet plunger, referred to it as "doing a Giuliani on this guy." (They considered it a comliment.)

Mike Gravel -- well commentators think they're clever and original when they describe him as "the crazy uncle" which only reflects on their total impoverishment of intellect -- Mike Gravel DESCRIBED HIMSELF as "the crazy uncle who shows up at Thanksgiving."

And Al Gore -- well, he's got more positive power, more positive influence, and more positive authority doing what he's doing than any president. The only thing he CAN'T do is bomb and immolate women and children for the oil companies and Halliburton. I con't believe he's dumb enough to run for president, and if he does, then he's too dumb to be one.

Which leaves John Edwards.


President Edwards.

It could be worse.


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