Jerry Lewis -- who would have thought the old man had so much vicious evil in him?

I saw Jerry Lewis on TV news this morning.

Lewis -- now fully discernible as a monster -- was trying to be funny as he talked about how he wanted to punch out Lindsey Lohan and if that wasn't enough, indulge his sick sexual fantasies and "Put her over my knee and spank her."

Jesus -- and I thought John Boehner and Eric Kantor and Mitch McConnell were ugly.

SO:

I was checking out of Safeway the other day and was asked if I wanted to donate anything to kids with Muscular Dystrophy.

And I said "I wouldn't piss on Jerry Lewis if he were on fire, let alone send money in his direction."

And the clerk, being agreeable said "Oh yeah, right -- they've got Jerry."

A few minutes after I left the store I interpreted his comment a different way and thought: "Shit. It's bad enough these poor kids having MD, but they have to put up with Jerry Lewis ALSO.  Shit -- I should have given them some money."

I went back the next day and went right over to an MDA display with a checker sitting in some sort of a cage, soliciting MDA funds. Nice sweet lady -- I'd checked out at her counter many times.  I told her my reasoning and gave her $5.00.

And I left, remembering that the last time I saw a woman in that sort of cage it was another era -- she was dancing and wearing plastic go-go boots, and the smell of pot smoke filled the air of the club. (And there were still people around who thought Jerry Lewis was funny.)