Who should raise Anna Nicole's baby? It's easy ---

There's only one person in America I can think of, and that's Mariska Hargitay

Jayne Mansfield's daughter who was also -- in her case, more or less -- too young to really remember her mom from anything but outside sources -- movies, photos, articles, etc. Ms Hargitay was three years old, asleep in the back seat when her mother's car crash left her motherless.

But the point is, she is/was the child of another sex star who was the victim of the fame-lust-media rape that Anna Nicole Smith went through.

("Up on housing project hill**/you can choose either fortune or fame/
You can take one or the other/though neither are to be what they claim..."
Bob Dylan)

If there is ONE person in this country who knows what that's like, it's Mariska Hargitay. Of course, she did have a father -- Mickey Hargitay, the former Mr Universe -- and despite her parents being divorced before she was born, he took her in and raised her.

In this case, a test tube will decide who is little Dannie Lynn Hope's paternal parent.

It is appropriate that Ms Hargitay has hit her dramatic stride (so far) playing a detective in a NYPD sex crimes unit -- because what was done to Jayne Mansfield, Anna Nicole Smith, Marilyn Monroe, Bettie Page, Jean Harlow, and all the others was the very popular American sex crime of enticing a woman with fortune and fame into being a masturbatory object -- a legal sex crime.

I've always thought, the reason for Bettie Page's sudden abidcation from her throne as reigning queen of pin-up came in an epiphany -- one day she had a vision of all those hundreds of thousands and millions of men whacking off to her image and, after throwing up repeatedly, changed her clothes and took a bus to find a life.

If it's important (and it is) to have a mother who knows and can prepare a child for the pressures of the life ahead, it would be Ms Hargitay. And, having given birth to August Miklos Friedrich on June 28, 2006, little Dannie Lynn would have a slightly old big brother.

Of course, that won't happen, Ms Hargitay being assigned as Maternal Guardian in loco parentis -- it makes too much sense.


* Ted Kane, the writer-friendly editor of Crapshoot, points out I was transposing Desolation Row, and had it wrong. Now it's right -- unless I screwed up again.


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